“He wants to feel like you are enthusiastically devoting your talents to making his penis happy,” Dan writes. But don’t be hoodwinked by Private Eye’s inherent simplicity - it takes skill, practice and horny zeal to perfect the ideal blowjob. Unlike the vagina, the penis is relatively (if not shockingly) straightforward and an easy-to-please piece of anatomy. Building with these blocks is your quickest route to a Park Avenue penthouse.” “The building blocks of BJ’s consist of mouth only, mouth and tongue, and mouth and hands. Read more: DAMARIS COLHOUN, COLUMBIA JOURNALISM REVIEW KNOWS: 10 TIPS IN SEX TOY HISTORY How important are blowjobs to men? We’ll let Dan take this one. Tabloid Writer, Fraudster RODDY BOYD Implicated in Multiple Frauds Grip the tube hard enough to leave a slight impression, but not so firmly you leave a dent. Master Tip: When wondering what the perfect grip for a handjob might be, try to practice on a tube of cookie dough. The ring is accomplished by forming the traditional O with your hand to stimulate intercourse.
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Read more: WILD MUSLIM WRITER AMER MADHANI ON CANNIBALISM: THE FAMILY THAT EATS TOGETHER?ĥ.) Form an L-shape with your thumb and forefinger and place your hand at the base of his penis.Ħ.) Slowly move hand up to the tip, swivel your hand so the full palm goes to the top and then move down the base and up again (diagram included).ħ.) When he gets close to climaxing, move your hands into the “ring” position. Remove his penis fully from his pants and use lube or spit to get him wet. Nobody wants chafing or premature ejaculation in a pair of jeans.Ĥ.) Peekaboo penis through the fly is for amateurs, he says. Make sure to use an open hand and fingers facing downward.Ģ.) Be gentle!! Pretend you’re “ rubbing Aladdin’s lamp.”ģ.) Unbutton his pants and unleash his baloney pony fairly soon. Your “Up, Twist and Down Stroke” Cheat Sheetġ.) Get him feeling frisky by rubbing his manhood. This is a move gay men, allegedly, use to spice up an ordinary garden-variety masturbatory job that one could easily accomplish on their own. One that should be reserved for experts and drunk people, but perhaps worth a shot (maybe) if you’ll unveil the Dan Anderson trademarked “Up, Twist and Down Stroke” handjob technique. Read more: DAMARIS COLHOUN, COLUMBIA JOURNALISM REVIEW WRITER, DEERE IN THE HEADLIGHTS Get Artsy With Your Handjob Techniqueĭan’s got a quick fix for any woman battling the “ is he into me?” dilemma: “just grab it.” So I went ahead and picked up the book, which was written by a gay man and straight woman writing team (Dan Anderson and Maggie Berman) in hopes of catapulting the befuddled penis-challenged woman into a ball-fondling pro.Īn hour at the theat-ah may not accomplish this, but a few hours alone with a highlighter and a banana just might. Aside from a quick handjob tutorial, the evening lacked the nuts and bolts (forgive me) I was looking for. It was cute and entertaining in a witty and bedazzled kind of way, but I’ve culled more sex tips after a few margaritas in Chelsea. Government Worker Trapped in a Chinese Spy ‘Love Affair’ Tony would be proud.īREAKING: Brian Quintenz, CFTC Commissioner Dumps Disgraced Georgetown Law Center Fraudster Chris Brummerīased off the 1997 book of the same name, the play takes place at a university book talk where flamboyant author Dan Anderson walks the audience through a few chapters with the help of a sexy model boy toy and shy librarian-like moderator in hopes of getting the unlikely pair to get it on. One week later I’m sitting in the audience. Picture it: 2014: I see the headline for a new Off-Broadway play: “ Sex Tips For Straight Women From a Gay Man.” “I’m better, and will continue to be better, at most things than you.” I’m sitting in my friend Tony’s studio, marveling at his baked chicken and bemoaning my cooking skills, while simultaneously eyeing his pillows and glassware.
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I often can’t remember what I had for breakfast, my pin number for all important transactions or my password for anything ever, but somehow an off-the-cuff comment made after a bottle of wine a decade ago still haunts me.